Where Can I Go

In the movie The Firm the story centres around a freshly minted lawyer, played by Tom Cruise, who appears to have landed a plum job with a prestigious law firm only to eventually discover that the firm was involved in organized crime and as a result kept a close eye on its every lawyer. The house they had provided to this man and his wife turned out to be full of hidden microphones recording their every conversation, every TV show they watched, their lovemaking. Everything. Creepy.[1]

Something that many people fear is that people are watching or listening to us all the time. Just the other day my phone spoke to me when I wasn’t speaking to it. It happens more regularly than I wish it to. Sometimes it will say, “Sorry, I didn’t quite catch that.” And I am like; “I wasn’t talking to you!”

I can go from searching for something, say a product on my phone, and everything I go to after that, whether my phone or my computer, starts showing me advertising for that product or information. Most of the time I just move on, but when I start to think about it, it is a little creepy. Not sure anyone would be enlightened by anything I have to say or share, but still a little unnerving knowing that there is possibility, if people desired, that they could know more about my life than I want them to.

It is a good thing that the Psalmist who wrote Psalm 139 understands that God, who knows everything about them, loves them deeply, or this depth of knowing would be creepy. However, I would add that knowing that God knows one fully can be a little unnerving as well. If you just looked at verses 7-12 without anything else, it might actually be a little terrifying.

^7-12Is there anyplace I can go to avoid your Spirit?
to be out of your sight?
If I climb to the sky, you’re there!
If I go underground, you’re there!
If I flew on morning’s wings to the far western horizon,
You’d find me in a minute— you’re already there waiting!
Then I said to myself, “Oh, he even sees me in the dark!
At night I’m immersed in the light!”
It’s a fact: darkness isn’t dark to you;
night and day, darkness and light, they’re all the same to you.[2]

Sounds like a stalker. But that is not where the Psalmist starts. These words are surrounded by words that speak about God’s love. That desire that we would know that God’s got our back, our front, our everything.

I’m an open book to you;
even from a distance, you know what I’m thinking.
You know when I leave and when I get back;
I’m never out of your sight.
You know everything I’m going to say
before I start the first sentence.
I look behind me and you’re there,
then up ahead and you’re there, too—
your reassuring presence, coming and going.
This is too much, too wonderful—
I can’t take it all in!

What is also interesting to me is the context of this Psalm. Why was it written? It starts with the words, “God, investigate my life; get all the facts firsthand.” There are also words that seem really harsh near the end of the Psalm.

And please, God, do away with wickedness for good!
And you murderers—out of here!—
all the men and women who belittle you, God,
infatuated with cheap god-imitations.
See how I hate those who hate you, God,
see how I loathe all this godless arrogance;
I hate it with pure, unadulterated hatred.
Your enemies are my enemies!

Some of you may know that I often choose scriptures from what is called the Revised Common Lectionary. It is an agreed upon prescribed set of readings that follow a three-year cycle that many different denominations and churches throughout the world use.

When it comes to this Psalm, the lectionary cuts out this difficult and angry sounding part of the reading. Yet without it we lose the reason for the entirety of the Psalm. Whoever wrote this was feeling the pressure of having to prove themselves right, vindicated, or at least not guilty of something. It is why the Psalm starts out with “God, investigate my life; get all the facts firsthand. I’m an open book to you.” and ends with

^23-24Investigate my life, O God,
find out everything about me;
Cross-examine and test me,
get a clear picture of what I’m about;
See for yourself whether I’ve done anything wrong—

Something has gone terribly wrong and the person expresses their anger and frustration, maybe even lashing out in fear of what the future holds. This is part of what is absolutely wonderful and hopeful about the Psalms, The Psalms share unabashedly the range of human emotions. The Psalms do not sugar coat anything. Who here has not wished harm or at least that justice rain upon those who are unjust or who have made one feel vulnerable and troubled?

The Psalms give voice to the range of human emotions and experience. They are not tidied up to suit our nuanced ways of communicating. Even though, when I think about it, many times what I read on social media could well use some nuancing, because a lot of that stuff is not tidied up or nuanced either. Rather than running off at the mouth, the Psalms are often the words of a person or the community to God. God who can handle whatever is on our hearts and minds. God who knows us so well that he already knows everything we are going to say before we start the first sentence. Our God is all about relationship, desires to be in relationship, because God loves us. So, with Psalms like this, we know we can go to God with whatever is on our hearts and minds, with whatever is on our tongues to say, because God knows us so intimately, so well, that nothing about us is hidden from God.

So, one might ask, “Where can you go from God?” The answer in the Psalm is nowhere. We cannot go anywhere where God does not go with us. We may not be aware of God’s presence but that is on us, not on God. And this isn’t creepy, unless you are trying to run away from God. This is about reassuring presence, deep love, and overflowing grace. God knows us intimately and still loves us, forgives us. God desires more than anything that we live in a way that reflect that we are image bearers of God.

And what does it mean to be an image bearer of God? One way to figure that out is to look to the life of Jesus. Who did Jesus spend time with? How did Jesus treat those who were most vulnerable? How did he treat his friends and those who were strangers to him. And if you don’t understand then learn about Jesus. Ask questions. If you can’t figure out why Jesus reacted to certain people in ways that don’t make sense to you, then learn more. Jesus was the image of God come to us in a way that we might be able to at least begin to comprehend God’s heart and mind. We will never fully grasp it. Our God cannot be placed in a box. Often, we want to put God in a box for the week and take him out on Sunday morning hoping that will be enough but God cannot be contained. And that is why God is both an amazing presence and something that scares us.

If we let God roam free in our hearts and minds, in our world, what would be turned upside down? We would not have control over our little piece of the world; the Spirit would be turned lose and who knows what would happen?!

It is a little terrifying an exhilarating all at once. But it also means that we have to let God in to our lives in ways that might not be comfortable. However, we may also find ourselves part of an amazing adventure that leads to transformed lives and a transformed world.

All that starts with us and letting God get in, to have God, as the Psalmist writes…

^23-24Investigate my life, O God,
find out everything about me;
Cross-examine and test me,
get a clear picture of what I’m about;
See for yourself whether I’ve done anything wrong—
then guide me on the road to eternal life.

This is about living with and for God, which also means living with and for others, those sitting here with us, our friends, families, and with our community. It is overwhelming, amazing, and life-giving. We do not do it alone; we do it with God and we can do it with each other. And please remember that eternal life is not something that just comes after death. Eternal life start with now, in this moment.

May the coming days stretch you as you consider God for you, with you and in you, through the life-giving power of the Holy Spirit and the love of Christ and the amazing grace of God.

[1] Scott Hoezee Psalm 139:1-6, 13-18 - Center for Excellence in Preaching Accessed September 6, 2025.

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